Last day of 2010

Sky is bright blue with small white clouds flying around. Sun gives such beautiful color combination and fresh dry air..

Another new year will I spend by myself; not by my own will but because of the circumstances.

Started I thinking what I want to achieve in the year to come.
2011 will be a start of new decade. I am sure in the next 10 year, there will be many changes in life. There are 3 dreams in my life and I hope I can achieve the first two within d next decade.

For next year, I do have some plans and goals which of course I hope I can accomplish. Most of all, I want this year to be the year where God teaches me, guide me, lead me and shape me to be what I am created to be before I leave my student life.

Happy New Year.. May it brings a fresh spirit within us!

Stop and think

Oh my gosh!!! What have I been doing???

I was dreaming of being being a doctor
I was dreaming of being pampered
I was dreaming of being surrounded by loved ones
I was dreaming of spending all my Christmas and New Year with mum, dad, nick n koko
I was dreaming...

I open my eyes,
I see them being doctors, engineers, musicians, models...
I see them with the people they love
I see them reaching their dreams
I see them there

And I??
I am here.. wondering if I choose the right path
The road that I have been through was hard
So many people I have hurt
And dream as a doctor is becoming vaguer each day
I am at a place where I am most uncertain about life

Am I in the right place??

Flash

There is a saying that people come and go in our lives like seasons.

I saw my facebook, I have so many names under my friend’s list. Wow, do I know them all? Do I have that many friends? Indeed, I do know them and I know more people than what it listed

Many of them, I just know by name or had one or two conversation before. Most of them are friends by group like high school, church, university, and other organization or workplace where I was in before. And through those groups, I have made some good friends.

I look back and I still remember clearly those people who have made my life and contribute to the person I am now. They have moved on with their lives and so did I. God does put new people around me. He does not leave me alone neither my friends. I am thankful for the people that He put surrounding me now.

But at this moment, I want to remember them. I want to remember those memories back on those days. I miss them. I miss you ci Febi, I miss you pampering me, sharing stories and just relax together. I miss you Etlana, Editha, and Christy, the time we hang out, gossiping, laughing, stories, jokes, food, talking about books, guys, etc. I miss you Dumbai and Casie, I miss our jokes that only us can understand-even when a word mentioned now, we can still remember back and laugh. I miss you Esther-sharing bible verses, prayer, spending so much time together in personal meeting, OCF leaders meeting, Friday night, comp lab, meal together, and many more. I miss you Shirley- I miss the time we can hang out and joke freely and our time with others too. I miss the spontaneity of Jess and her cheerful attitude. I miss you guys.

I miss dede too. I so miss you. I miss hanging out with you and cella. I miss laughing at you, piggy back by you, massaged by you, teasing you, watching movies with you and you driving me around. I miss Jenny with her “cacad”. I miss so many things in the past. I do!!

Currently, I feel that life is hard, but I do believe that future will be better. I am certain of it. I just need endurance and perseverance. I also need to believe that He who started it is faithful and He will carry me to completion.

It's not end yet!!

Started the year with physical work that gave me sore body and swollen hands
Did five papers in the first semester and part time work on weekends
Did second semester of third year plus 13-17 hours of work per week
Had tree planting work that drain all the energy and ache the body
Grandma left just before my exam
Unable to spend another summer at home

Man!! I am super tired.. I am!!!

But, I am thankful...

I am thankful for all the opportunity
I am thankful for all the job that I got and the study that I was able to complete
I am thankful for the strength to do them
I am thankful for the people that pray for be and bear with me
I am thankful for all the friendship that I made through them
I am thankful for His faithfulness
I am thankful for His sustanance
I am thankful for His love

I think... I am blessed!!!

But, I still want some rest!! hehe

Goodbye

I know that life on earth is temporary
I know that one day each person life will come to an end
But it will be the beginning of life with our Father in heaven
And that moment will be a joyful one

Yet, hearing that you leave...
It gave me a big grieve
I do not know that you will go this soon
I had hope to see you again (that's what the doctor n mum promised me)

But you leave...
without me apologizing
without me telling you how much your life and your love mean to me
without me telling how pretty you are
without me telling that you have the best smile in the world
without me saying that I love you
without me saying goodbye...

They said I should rejoice...
because you are free from pain now
because you are with the Father
and because we will be together again in heaven

However, I wish I could have seen your smile one more time and said goodbye to you
I believe you watch me now. And I want to tell you that I love you.
And I will find you when I go to heaven next time..

Goodbye emak..

Everyone makes mistake in their lives.. So do I.
And I apologised. So, don't you think I deserve a second chance?

My heart

Hhmmm...
I think I have two big hearts.
My first heart quite big to fulfil my big body needs. This heart pumps my blood to fulfil the need of oxygen of my every single cells in my body. Heart that has been working really hard to keep me thinking, study, do my work, growing and be who I am physically. And I am not quite sure if I have taken care well of this heart of mine. However, I admit that this heart is important physiologically.

My second heart which some say is quite big too is a heart that is important for me for my psycology, my character and my life for eternity. Yes, heart that has more important duty then just pumping blood (again, this is also important).

They say I have big heart to love many many many people. Indeed, there are so many in my life that I love - different love for each person with different intensity.
I love my family so much. I love mum, dad, my sister and my brother. And I would give anything I have if they want it (as long as I dont sin against God), except my life cause it belongs to my LORD.
I love my best friends in Singapore though they are far from me. I love Esther. i love Grace. I love Daniel. I love ci Natalia. I love ci Febi. I love Casie. I love Nyari. I even love ci Intan. I love Joo. I love Jung. I love Della. I love aunty Gloria and Pastor. I love OCF and there are just too many people whom I love. I love to many until my brain is not capable to think of them all. My time is not sufficient to be spent with them all. My stregth is very limited. But inside my heart, I know deeply that I love them. I love them so much and I know I would not like my life without each of them.

Even after all that description, I state boldly that my love is full of flaws. My love is very very very limited. It is FULL of FLAWS. My love cannot make me do much for those whom I love. My love often cannot overcome the pain I got.

But there is one being that love me wholly. His love is flawless. He loves me no matter what. His love conquers all. His love sustains me. His love remains the same even when my love for him fails. He loves me and watches me when I use all my time to study. He loves me and guides me when I use all my time to work. He loves me and guards me when I use all my time to ignore him. He loves me even when all I love is myself. He loves me and helps me carrying my burden even when I am complaining carrying little burden that is left. His love gives me hope. He takes me when I fall and he looks at me with his loving eyes. He even died for my sins. And He never regrets loving me. He is loving me joyfully.

WHAT SO UNDESRVED LOVE...

And I am telling you, this love is not only for me.. It is also for you. It is enough for everyone and it is still complete and perfect!

Teach me Lord, with all the love that I have.. with all my heart, I want to love you first and foremost. And with this love that you have given me, I want to love others so that they may know your love. Let them see that my love is imperfect and only yours is perfect. So that your name will be glorified!! To you the praise forever and ever!!

Where he found me

I dont know how far have I travelled
How many turns have I passed
How many mountains have I climbed
How many valleys I have gone

I dont know how many memories in my head
How much tears I have shed
How much laughter I have had
How much jokes I have said

I dont know how many people do I know
How many of them has visited my life
How many have make me cry or laugh
How many have left their footprints in my life

I have no idea how life has been really good or harsh to me

But no matter where I am
No matter what I am going through
No matter how friends come and go in my life
No matter how people look at me
No matter how many times I have failed
No matter where I go or what I do

You can always find me when I am lost
You love me the same
You give me this hope
that one day, I will be with you forever

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen

I cannot hide from you

You have looked into my heart
You know everything about me
You see my deepest thoughts
And every corner of my soul
Each single step I take
And all my words before I speak them
Every place that I have been
And every place that I will go

Long before I drew first breath
You already knew my secrets
You watched as I was formed
Out of sight from human eyes
Your Spirit is with me
And I am always in Your presence
When I sit and when I stand
When I sleep and when I rise

Turn my heart from wicked ways
Search the whispers of my mind
And lead me on the road
That will take me home
To everlasting life


I cannot hide from You
You know me all too well
There’s no story of my life
That Your memory could not tell
I can ride the morning wings
Till I’m completely out of view
But whether in dark or light
I cannot hide from You

Every moment of my life
I cannot hide from You

Tree Planting

This week, I went to Hawera with nine of my friends for manuka tree planting job. We expected the job to be fun and the money offered is pretty good.

Ten of us live in a bunk house and where we live, there is no reception. It is in the mountain and to get phone reception, we have to go out of the house. Internet in the main mansion is very slow, so we pretty much cut out from the outside world.

On Monday, we went to our work place which is 45 minutes van drive from where we live. The road is very rocky and windy. I got car sick. And due to lack of sleep in the first night, I got migrain and so sick in the car. I feel sorry for others because of me.

The work itself is hard. We have to plan trees on the mountain. Some areas are quite steep. We climb the mountain with a box of manuka trees (about 104 trees) tight into our waist. And we bring spade with us. It was tough. I fell several times, hands get cut by spiny plants, sore legs, waist, arms, etc. It was tough and definitely not girls type of job.

Yet, here we are. Four girls stood till the end of the job. I am proud to be in team with you girls. You guys are amazing. I had such an awesome hard time with you. I can never go through this without you all. Thanks for the two boys too, our driver and our supporter and also part of the team.

Each morning was a struggle to wake up and convince myself to do the work againi with sore bodies. But I did it. Each minute is a struggle to climb the mountain, plant the trees, and carrying such heavy boxes. But I did it.

I never regret doing this. The scenery when we are on top is amazing. The road, the mountain, the sun, the moon, the mist, the rain, the sheep, the plants, the soil, the poo, the bushes, and our sounds...they are amazing.

To look to your faces in the morning, from distance in the mountain, and tiredness and dirtyness after work...they are precious moment for me. All the supports, all the FOOD, all the songs, all the jokes and all the laughter that we share, they are too precious for me to trade with anything.

I learn that people like you are blessings in my life and I thank God for you.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 1 Corinthians 15:10

Over excited!!

Not over excited by a hot guy or money or cool stuff or job or grades or friends...

I am over excited for the Lord. This feeling...no, I have never experienced it before. This is different!!

I am sleeping, I am eating, I am sudying, I am listening to Westlife music; yes, westlife.. But all in my mind is God's word, his promises, his kindness, his mercy, his life and the lives of those who have faith till their names are written in the bible. And of course God's love.

My heart leaps, jump, overfilled with excitement!!

If often I cannot sudy because of stress, this is the first time my study distraction come from over joy. I can't wait for the next moment I spend with him alone.

I know that he has something great in the future for me. I am like a kid excited waiting for the father come home bringing present :)

Weird as it may seen or heard. Neither I can explain it.

Life hasn't been easy for me in many ways. No, it hasn't. Satan even tried to attack in so many ways..

But, here I am. Under the mighty hand of God, in his cuddle. Happy and content..

Growing

I am indeed is a spoilt person and I am not ashame to admit it. I am spoil in family affection, friends attention and definitely from God. Always want to be pampered, live in luxury and comfort, getting all I need and all the blessings and all goodness that a person on earth could have from God and from others.

But, here I am in foreign country, away from home, living with strangers.
And, I learn...

I learn that
away from family is hard, I am being more independent
there is time to be cared, and time to care.
there is time to be carried, and time to stand on my own feet
there is time to be pampered, and time to be strong
there is time to be taught gently, and time when hard times come
there is time to toil, and time to enjoy the fruit

In all those time, know that He allows them all to happen because He loves me and He wants what is best for me. For He is sovereign, wise and loving.

Hebrew 5:11-14
We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Everything in me is yours

I know I am not a scholar with deep knowledge
I know I am not a linguist who are good with languages skill
I know I am not a smart doctor who can help sick people
I am not even an author or writer who write amazing books

I know I am not an artist whose painting mesmerise those who see it
I know I am not an actress whose act can intrique the audience
Neither am I always real as a person
But I want to come as I am into your presence

I know that I am not composer who write song and make beautiful music
Neither can I play an instrument
I know I cannot even sing for it will be out of tune
(even cat may find a hiding place)
But let my heart sing the song of your salvation

I know that I am not a genius who know and understand things in a speed of light
I do not have good memory to memorise everything that is exposed to me
I do not have wisdom to comprehend circumstances around me
Not even enough to make a decision in my life
But i want to trust myself in your unfailing love

I do not have extraordinary skills, knowledge, wisdom, richness, strength
But I know that this is what I have

I have two feet to walk
I have two hands to work
I have two eyes to see
I have two ears to listen
I have a mouth to speak
I have a nose to breath
I have one mind to learn and
I have a heart to feel

And this is the deal...
As long as I still breath,
I will give my all to You
For you to use, for the sake of your kingdom
For great is your love and faithfulness

All the goodness... not enough!!

After not writing for so long, I question myself whether I actually like writing or not. Has time become the reason of not writing? Or simply because life has been too good or too bad!

I am glad and I praise the Lord for the first semester that has been passed. Yea, I did five papers and it wasn't easy. But I pass them all, not excellent but I am happy :)

I had chance to spend my two weeks holiday in Auckland. I was welcomed in a friend's place. It's good to stay in a family. They are Korean. I learn their culture and just the habit of different family. It's been good really :)

And new semester began. Well, it has been three weeks. Four paper but quite intense timetable. Plus God granted me a job four nights a week. i also get two new hallmates who are fantastic. One american and one chinese. I actually think that my life is so fantastic, it is amazing. God has granted me so many good things in my life. Study abroad, good living place with good hallmates, great job, great friends, great Christian club, and yea, I wonder what will i ask if ever I could ask for more.

Yet, there is in human heart, a big space that all the goodness of the world cannot occupy. There is a longing deep inside each person that no one on earth can meet. There is a desire that none of those good things can satisfy.

We are created for a greater purpose.. We are created for something better.. We are created to be with someone super special.. Yes, I am created for Him. And him only can occupy that space in my heart. Him only can meet the longing of my heart and Him only can satisfy my desire.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

His goodness is everywhere around me!!

First term is over and I am glad that I am survive =)
Well, it was not actually too bad, it was just myself making it hard..

I am glad that now is the term break or easter break or study break (though I actually need to catch up with my notes, do my reports and essay and assignment). However, I am glad that there are no classes or labs ^^

Break started with Easter camp, we had combine easter camp with chinese group this time. It was an awesome time and 7 people accepted Jesus. I am so glad and honoured to be able to see God's mercy pour out to the camp.

This Easter, God also give me a friend who is also a sister for me. She loves God and she is different from me. I guess God brought us together to grow each other deeper in Christ, to help each others and to glorify God with our friendship.

Some good friendships also develop in the camp and I really thank God for giving me lots of good laugh after a while. Oh, how I love having friends =)

You have taught me so much of you too these days and I am really glad to know more of you. I have learnt so much, yet, I desire to know you more.

Lord, may everything in this friendship, may any kind of relationship that you bring to my life will draw me closer to you. May they be your blessing to me and I to them. At the end, let everything in the world and in my life glorify your name.

To you only all praise and glory!! Forever I am yours =)

Ku lari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku,.
Ku lari ke pantai kemudian teriakku

Sepi..sepi dan sendiri aku benci
Ingin bingar aku mau di pasar..

Bosan aku dengan penat
Enyah saja kau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri

Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
Ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba-laba belang di tembok keraton putih
Kenapa tak kau goyangkan saja locengnya biar terdera
Atau...

Aku harus lari kehutan
belok ke pantai

What am I doing this semester?

Eleven reports, two computer assignment, one essay, 6 semester test, 5 laboratory tests and 5 final exams are what I have this semester beside the regular 15 hours lab that need preparation and 11 classes that I need to attend and of course making notes. Not to forget mentioning the part time work on occasional weekends.

Do I think they are a lot?
They are enough to finish my energy of the day, but not enough to take my sleeping time.
They are enough to make me missing home, but not enough to make me decided to go home (now).
They are enough to make me work hard everyday of the week, but not enough to take my Sunday.
They are enough to keep me studying till night, but not enough to take my devotional time.
They are enough to make me procrastinating, but not enough to take my joy and peace.
They are enough to make me cry, but not enough to make me lose my hope.
They are enough to make me think that I am incapable, but not enough to make me give up.
All because I know that God is with me
He guides me and strengthens me
He loves me and he cares for me
He is my portion and my deliverer
And yes, I could do anything through him who gives me strength

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.
Psalm 13:5-6

“This one is done. This is also done!! Yep, done!! Done!! Done!!! I am sure I will have time by the end of this week to see him.”
That was the second day of the second week. I started catching up my notes from last week. It was a very busy week due to orientation activities. My schedule was messy. But that week, things were going back to its place. I planned to finish my study on weekdays and rest on weekends. I was confident that I will be able to do so.

“So, how are you doing?” That was the fifth times my lecture asked me that question this semester. I guessed she was concerned about me doing five papers. I gave in; I gave her desired answer, “Well, I am tired. I could not believe taking five papers could be this tiring.”
“I told you so. Your classes and lab burden increase by 20% and your study time decrease by 20%”
“But I try to manage it and having rest or play around on weekend.”
“Umm, I do not think you could do that. You won’t have time to play around even on weekends.”
“Nah, I will”

I did my notes after class and I finished a bit early tonight. So I checked my reports, assignment, labs program and tests.
“Oh no, I guess she was right!!”
There were heaps to do!!! Oh well, let it be the concern for the next day. Now, it’s bed time and I want to sleep to the fullest!!!

On my special day

Morning sun shines through my red curtain
Waking me up from my deep sleeep
I open my eyes and thank Him
22 years and 9 months has He been faithful

Today is not the same day
It is a brand new day
Classes are many and an event is await
Refreshed body is ready to start the day

One class after another I attend
Take up my energy bit by bit
Finish it up at the last class
Just spare me a little
To surive for the main event of the day

Five minutes lay down I need
No more thinking could be done
Only reflex that drives me
To sustain me to the end of the day

This is my special day
Yet, insignificant only I could feel
Can I be selfish for one day?
Can I have the world for one day?

Too late!!! This is another day already
My time is up and the time will go around again

Part 3

New semester began. He helped me moving to dormitory. This was certainly one of the best rooms I ever stayed in my life. Yet, I could feel the loneliness the wall echoes. It was afternoon and the sun shone through the red curtain, emphasizing the stillness of the day.

I did not know any of my neighbors. We saw each others, but only few words were exchanged. I thought I will love such privacy, yet I found myself feeling lonely. I always look for a way to avoid people (since my life surrounded by them). Now I realized that I love to be with them regardless the mess that they may cause in my life. Maybe it was too early for me to mention that, but I said it anyway.

I remember his saying and tried to call him, yet he did not answer. I knew that he has his own life. Who should I call then? Those ‘friends’? Will they answer me? Won’t they mind if I bother they life? Nah, I will not call them.

“So, where from now?” I asked myself. Would I stay in this loneliness or …? I had no idea. One thing I was certain is this: If I do right, good things will happen…

Where do I belong?

I used to belong there
Worked for it, Strived for it
It was challenging, it was tough
It was tear dripping, it was heart pounding

I used to belong there
There I learnt, there I grew
There I joke, there I laugh
There I sing, there I am loved

Yes, I used to belong there
Where joy and tears meet
Where fear and excitement mix
Where faith is tested and miracles happen

O, how my eyes long to see
O, how my ears long to hear
O, how my feet long walk
O, how my soul long to dwell

Though I am not there anymore
Let me still do Thy work
In a place where Thy put me
In here, I do belong now
In Thy alone, I will find myself

on another occasion (part of the story)

After dinner...
"I am sorry if I hurt you. I care for you and I want the best for you." he continued, "I know that all this long you have been by yourself. You also have helped others who needs you whoever they are. But you yourself... you did not take a good care of yourself. You do not depend on anyone."

I was sure that Char must have told him something. Otherwise he would not know how I was feeling lonely the last few days. I had to admit that I do not depend on people, not because I dont want to but because I can't or don't feel right interupt other's life. I don't mind people come to me and ask help though, I like to be able to help them.

"Can you depend on me? Can you share your burden with me? Can you call me the second when you want someone to be with you? When I say I care for you, I mean it. When I say I want to protect you, I mean it and when I say I love you, I mean it."

I did not say a word. I did not know how to answer. What should I say? I could not comeprehend someone who could care for me that much.

"Can you?" he asked again.

My mind was still processing his words, yet I nodded and he hugged me.

part of the story

"I do this because I want to protect you. Don't you understand? I love you"
But, I do not think that I need you to protect me!! I feel like you take my world, my freedom from me!! My mind screams but no voice comes out from my mouth.

How thankful I am to have you in my life. You are a father, a brother and a friend to me. But don't you understand that I am a lady now. I could make my own decision. I know what I want, I know what I am capable of and most importantly, I have the mighty one who knows what is best for me.

I walk away and wonder if there is someone, a person who could understand me. I do not want anyone controlling my world, I just want someone to walk with me and be with me. But, I could find none...

I want... What more to ask??

Saw a presentation sent by friend yesterday telling that everyday is a gift. It awaits when the eyes are opened in the morning. It could present that we dont like and try to put it in the corner of the room or pleasing present which we might embrace. What is in my present box today? I would not know until I unfold the box and see what's inside as I go through my day.

Read a psycology today magazine yesterday and read an article about secret of happiness. And I love the statement: "Confront annoyances and crisis with grace. Be willing to learn, stretch and grow which might involve discomfort. Life requires not only talking, but also acting" and a point that surprising mentioned by world psycology is this: "A strong personal relationship could buffer life's inevitable letdowns and setbacks".

I am not perfect and my life is not free from struggles. I have not everything I want or need. Yet, I could get up in the morning, ready to embrace whatever the maker has laid before me. I wait in expectancy, live in hope and believe in the provider. For now, I understand a little bit what love is. Love always try to give what is best no matter how much sacrifice one has to pay. So, what more should I ask knowing that someone is trying very hard to give me the best... What more should I ask?

Selamat Ulang Tahun!!

Telah puluhan tahun yang kau lewati
Telah ribuan tantangan kau hadapi
Telah jutaan air mata kau tetesi
Tapi tak hilang semangatmu tuk berjuang bagi kami

Tak ada harta yang bisa kami persembahkan
Tak ada cinta yang bisa kami tawarkan
Tak ada waktu yang bisa kami gantikan
Tuk membalas semua kasih sayangmu

Tahun ini bertambah usiamu tanpa aku disisimu
Tak dapat kuucapkan selamat ulang tahun di telingamu
Tak dapat kurangkul engkau dan kucium pipimu
Hanya doa yang bisa aku hantarkan
Dan kupercaya Tuhan menjaga kalian

Selamat Ulang Tahun ma.. pa..
Aku sayang kalian

My Short Pixie Hair

Out of nowhere, the idea of having short hair came to me yesterday and today, I decided to cut it short and I do like it eventhough my family do not really into it...
I feel fresher and different. I would say that this decision is one of a big decision that I took without compromising with my family. I feel like I grown up now, even for many people this is just a small decision. Today is my mum's bday, but I certainly know this is not such a good surprise for her! But I know that today is one of the historical day in my life whether I will cut my hair this short again in the future or not ^^
Thank God for the satisfaction that you put in my heart. May from now on my life glorify you

Craving for food

This holiday, I've been learning how to cook better.. But the more I cook, the more I imagine different food, the more I want to eat them (despite my decreasing appetite), and the more I miss home, I miss Jakarta... I want the food!!

Angel or Devil?

Am I an angel? Am I a devil? Or I am half angel and half devil?
We stand in one extreme and think of us either good or bad
We create the standard and judge whether others are good or bad based on our personal or community standard
Who are you "good" people that you judge your neighbour bad? Have you look deep into your own self and explore how much evil you have in your own heard, mind and soul?
And don't you know "bad" people, how much good come out from you? How the world treat you unfairly just because you are different!!
At whichever side you stand, know that there is someone that truly care for you... No matter how broken you are!

Weather

Palmerston North...
This city where I live is said to have 4 seasons in a day.. I do not think so though. I think what's unique here is the summer is the mix of heat, wind, rain and cold..
Last few days, I was burned by the heat. I could not believe I could just stand and sweat waiting for the bus. The heat was serious!! The sky was clear and the sun shone directly and burrn my skin, make it even more brown.
Today and the next couple of days (predicted), the rain will be pouur out. This morning, the sky is covered fully by clouds and the rain pour down smoothly. I open my window in my room, listen to the sound of the rain, feel the breeze air and smell it.. I simply love it =) It's just hard to get around with this weather, except if I have a car. However, this weather is the one I like the most =)

Happy New Year!!

Ups, isn't it too late to say Happy New Year?! Oh well, I still think that this is the beginning of another year, so it is stil new =) and never too late to wish you happiness.. So, Happy New Year!

Last few weeks have been quite emotional, a bit unhappy, lonely and live just for the sake of living.. spending each minutes doing whatever I have to do or do nothing for the sake of finishing another day.. fiuh.. what a boring life.. no passion, no joy and no dream.

Today, while talking to my workmate about a funny work mate who left for holiday, I was reminded of one important thing in life. This thing has been part of my life and my sister's life. I hope she remember this too. I want to live my life to the fullest! I want to be happy! I want to be able to smile and laugh sincerely from my heart in whatever I am doing. I want to be able to see life from its goodness. I want to be able to thank God sincerely because I know He has done and is doing good in my life. I want to laugh as much as I could. I want to laugh when I walk, when I ride my bike, when I sit in the bus, when I work, when I cook or when I lay on my bed. Moreover, I want to laugh in my cry!! I love laughing!! yes, I love laughing =)
When I laugh, I know that the world rejoice with me and such joy is unspeakable..

My cousin said that adults world is not playful, joyful and full of worries.. Yes, I and people consider me adult now, I have worries and fear. But, I want to choose to be happy!!