So, who decides?

When I was born, my parents decided what I wore, where I went, how I slept, what I ate and decided how they and the world will call me.

When I was a baby, they decided where I went to kindergarten, how I should write and eat with my right hand, and use the left for ***

When I was a girl, they told me to sleep at certain time, how I should talk to elders, ate certain food, and studied to get good marks.

When I was teenager, they told me to go home at certain time, not going to certain places, and consider many things before making decisions.

When they sent me overseas, they only told me to study well, take care of myself and be close, dependent and trusting God.

As I grow, they put their trust in me and let me choose my own path. However, they still my parents. They support me, listen to me, pray for me and love me no matter what.

I am an adult now and they let me making my own decision. I thought it's good to be an adult and be independent. But, I miss being a kid and under parents.
I am making my own decision now. I make mistakes and sometimes I don't even know what I am doing or what I am supposed to do. But, I guess this is a learning process. You can't all of a sudden be good in making decision. And now, as I make my decision, it is God that I have to seek for counsel. And to do so, I need to practise and build my relationship with him. Be patient and trusting him that he will reveal and lead me to the way he has prepared for me.

This is what the LORD says:
“I am the LORD your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go.

Never satisfied!!

The more we have, the more we want...

I guess this is a struggle or so called ambition that most people have at one stage of their lives or even throughout their lives. You say, "if just I can have that, then I will feel content." You have it then there are more of that saying, this time, it is even fancier.

Being brought up not in a rich family, I thought having certain achievement can make me really grateful and content forever. Indeed, I did in the beginning. I was so thankful for getting a "thing" till I don't care that I have to make sacrifices on other things. Now, I have taken the "thing" for granted! I don't feel thankful anymore and I want more of other things. I end up making excuse for not being satisfied and can't feel content and thankful.

Just if this desire is to know God more and more and to never feel content of with what I have in him.. that will be amazing!!
But why? Why is this desire for something else?

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

The fifth week

Aaarrrggghhh!!!

Man, this year is different!!!
It feels hard in many ways, yet I don't know what makes it hard!!

I hope the year does not go pass so quickly before me grasp the lesson God wants to teach me.

So many to do, so little time...
So many people I want to see, talk, hang out with, etc
But I can't find the time!!!

Arrggghhh..
Lord, may my soul find rest in you.
Help me to set my life right before you and other things shall follow.
For you, O Lord, hold everything

May comfort fills your people in Japan and Christchurch;
May your name be glorified

For you O Lord, worthy of our lives

Internship on early days

This is it!!! This is the start. I finally start my placement in medical laboratory. I finally see and experience how it feels to work in laboratory, to be medical laboratory technician or even scientist! This is the start.

It is not too far from what I had in mind before. However I feel like I am in the hospital for more than this!! Maybe I dream too much. Maybe I expect or think too high for myself. Maybe...

But this feeling... I feel like crying!! I want more than this!!

I am not even in the technician level and I expect to be in the level of haematologist!! a specialised doctor!! Let me laugh at myself!!

I finally truly dream!! Funny!! Funny!! Hahahahahahahaha

I think I shall take my time and enjoy what I have now and learn as much as I can..
Who knows what the future may bring. Maybe I end up liking being in medical lab very much. Never know :)