Monday, 28 December 2009

End of 2009

Wow, end of the year already.. How I wish I could write good and pleasant memories of the year or even the bad ones.. But, I simply can't write them.. My brain is going numb.
This is the first year of my life spending Christmas and New Year without mum, dad, my bro and my sis. And yes, I am homesick.. And I know how much you miss me too.
Oh mum, how I wish I could be with you now.. how I miss your hug, your cooking your voice and your simple touch.. I miss you mum..
Dad, don't you like making jokes? Can you make me some for this New Year? I miss your laughter and your lame joke.. I miss holding your hand, teasing you on how you are so anti to bad food yet you love ice cream like a child.
I do miss your driving ko, I miss arguing with you and explore new places (restaurants) with you and eat a lot of bad food ;p
And of course I miss you de, I miss seeing you busy, I miss sharing story with you at night, I miss hanging out with you in gym, cafe or cinema. I even love spending time with you without much talking. I simply love you.
I will survive here for you and for our God. May God be with us!!

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Quote from Paulo Coelho

Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest.
Our magic moment helps us to change and send us off in search of our dreams.
Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we wil experience many disapointments-
but all this transitory; it leaves no permanent mark.
And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.
Perhaps this person will never be dissapointed or disillusioned;
perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow.
But when that person looks back - and at some point everyone looks back -
she will hear her heart saying,
"What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days?
What have you done with talents God bestowed on you?
You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents.
So, this is your heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life."

Monday, 23 November 2009

Awake from hibernation...

Woaahh... I haven't writen for ages!! Actually, there are a lot of things happened that I could have writen, but time and mood did not allow me to write.. hehe.. I am back!!
So, what has been happening since the last time I write??

First, I managed to finish my exams well, eventhough I fell sick for several days between my second and third exam. I called mum almost everyday and she told me to relax and have fun instead of study.. lol!! Mum is wonderful.. I'm waiting for the result now.. During exam weeks itself, God taught me to trust in him. Because of my sickness I was afraid that I wasn't able to finish my study, indeed I finished it and the exam was not as horrible as I thought..ups not that it was easy, but God gave me strength and memory to answered the questions. I learnt that God was so good to me and he was faithful to me during that time.

Secondly, God showed his other kindness to me through job that he granted me straight after I finished my exams. I am currently working in OCGGI sushi and waiting for another 1 or 2 jobs to come. Hopefully can hear from them this week.

Last weekend, I managed to get to SLC, thanks for those who made me there; transport, funding, support and encouragement. It was a short one, but I was glad to see brothers and sisters there, especially Shirley.. She is going back for good to Malaysia after finishing her 2 years exchange programme. I'm gonna miss you sister.

Oh yea, for summer, I am moving to an OCF friend's flat. In our flat, there are a Chinese, a Tongan, a Kiwi and an Indonesian.. such a diverse.. and we have 2 Michelles.. yay!! Keep on moving flat does make me feel tired physically and mentally (due to new adaptation), but there are things to learn from each and I believe that God is teaching me wherever I go and I know that He always be with me.

Fiuh.. this is just the beginning of the summer holiday, but somehow I feel tired.. I haven't started studying for two papers that I have promised to study. I hope that I get certainty of work and everything soon so that I could start rearranging my timetable and settling down..

Yes, this is summer.. and something is lacking from my life; my city, malls, cinemas, cafes, ice skating, my house, my cars, my bed, my dogs' barking, my housekeeper, my friends, my language, my mum's cooking, my dad's joke, my sister silliness and my brother's new places invention, and my mum's hug...

Saturday, 31 October 2009

Friendship

A friend of mine was telling me that a good friendship is not an immediate thing.. It doesn't work just when you say that I want him/her to be my best friend, then he/she will be your best friend. Good frienship is build overtime and tested by time. I agree.. This friend also suggested to spend time with whomever I have chance to spend my time with. I have no objection to these opinions. They are acceptable and reasonable.

By telling me all this, my friend forget to tell me one important thing in friendship; it involves WILLINGNESS. Both side need to have willingness to be friend with each others, willingness to make time and spend time with each other or just thinking or praying for each other, willingness to share and to care(to give and to get), willinness to accept their plus and minus and sadly but true... willingness to be hurt... Am i willing to get hurt? Hhmmm...

Praise God that when i think about this, I could list few names in the category who I can identify as 'good friend' of mine. Our friendship has been tested by time and we do not need much words or actions just to show that we are valuable to each others.. for we know that eventho we are seperated by distance, by our own study and business, we still care for each other, love each other, pray for each other and when we meet, we could just talk about everything.. Thanks buddies!! I miss you so much!!

Let me end with a quote from George Eliot: "Oh, the inexpressibe comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Random bits

Somehow, I feel tired... and I miss home so much.....

I am very thankful to God that my family is so so so so so good!! It does make me never want to leave home and always happy to be home. However, I thank and praise God for opportunity to study abroad. And this way, my family is happy too.. And I will give my best in this exams for my family and for my God. I will not give less than my best.

Lol, this exam time does make me a bit emo...

Ma.. pa... ko.. de... I miss you so much and I wish so much that I could be with you..
Happy birthday ko!!! 我真的真的很爱你们

Some additional news:
Another cousin has a baby =)
A cousin's grandma passed away =(

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
Job 1:21

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

First exam done!!!

Wohoo!!!

The first one was Metabolic Biochemistry and it was done.. Praise God that it was good (hopefully my judgement is right).

Before exam, people tend to have mind and emotional "disturbance". They tend to think unnecessary things or weird stuff and do "abnormal" activities. I think I did that too.. Maybe not abnormal activity, but mind mingling.

Anyway, there are two people that has been blessing me so much in the last couple of days. A friend from Hongkong which unexpectedly wise ;p Not saying that I think she is not, but found out that her thought is probably more mature than me and she taught me good stuff. I'm glad to have her as my friend. God is good to me =)

Another friend is from Malaysia. Unbelieveably, she could made me study passing my limit. Indeed, she is been an encouragement for my biochem study. Her 'not giving up', 'no complaint' and 'keep study faithfully' just amazed me. She surely is awesome!! Someone can actually make me feel that my study is not god enough, but do not make me feel down. Instead, she motivated me to study and even pushes me to study pass what I thought as my limit.

Wow, life is surely rich.. I wonder what God will teach me in my last two exams...

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Captured by own mind..

Not again!!! Character really is hard to change!!
I realised that I am caught up in the thoughts and acts of perfection aiming. I do not want it!! I do not want to chase perfection!!! But I cannot help it...

I feel that I took the burden that I have handed to God. Dear Father, I cannot take this burden no more. It is too heavy for me to carry, I am not able to. Teach me to trust you today, tomorrow and for the whole exam days that I have.

I will give my best and leave the rest to you. Whatever the result, let me be content for I know that I have given my best and let the results glorify you!! Let you be the centre and not me..

Monday, 19 October 2009

What's up??

There were a lot of things happen last week and thru the weekend.. From not a very good news to awesome news..

On Friday, I found out that I did not get the job that I wanted to. Sad? Disappointed? Not really.. At least not until I tried to figure out my other options and the troubles I might have which is on Saturday. Praise to be the Lord that He did not let me sank to long in my worries. He spoke to me thru his word, letting me know that He is the God and He is in control. I need to be still and know that he is God. He gave me his promises in John 15:7-8 and Psalms 37:4-6. Morever, all things that happening on Sunday morning also reassured me that I can trust my life in God and I know that everything is under his control.

So, what's on Sunday? Two good friends of mine got baptised. Their faith and love to God touched my heart. More than that, I saw God's goodness and kindness toward the lives of His people. Therefore, I can trust mine in His hands too. God also gave us a bonus by calling one of our OCF members into the family. Yes, this guy accepted Christ after baptism ceremony. Surely, God is at work. Moreover, I believe that his work is not only calling people into light, but He will guide each of us into deeper fellowship with him each day.

God, my Father is the best Father!! He is full of mercy to us, his children who are naughty and deserve wrath!! This exam time, I want to commit my best studying with the help of Holy Spirit as the reflection of my thanking heart. I will give my very best, eventhough I cannot see what's ahead of me. At each time, each point, I will give my very best!! Father, please help me, and my brothers and sisters too..

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you. This is too my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15:7-8 NIV

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Stop for few minutes

Just realised that my mind has been filled with study for lab tests, a sister bday plan, and my english pronounciation...

Study is what I have to do now.. I am writing indeed. hehe..
A sister bday today..yea, she is more than a friend for me, she is more like my younger sister. And instead of thinking about my test, I think more about this.. haha
Seems like I change a bit.. lol

ups, I talk to myself again. It's ok, this is just me =)
Yea, i guess, I am unique and different, including my english pronounciation ability. I have had lots of correction, teasing and laugh due to my incorrect pronounciation. Feel embarrassed sometimes, but it's ok.. Isn't it good to make people laugh.. haha

These thoughts often come and disturb me. Hinder me from having my thoughts on God and interrupt my quite time.
Despite all the feelings, success and failures that I have, God has taught me some lessons.

I am God's and forever will be his. My love for him is often taken by my emotions and circumstances on the earth, but His love for me remains the same.

Although I do not speak very well, God knows my heart and He loves me just as I am.
I am trembled, Father. I am...

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Fireproof

Watched fireproof for the second time last Friday.. I believe I got the values from the first time watching it, but I totally forget because I took the whole story line as the lesson. This time, managed to get some details. So, I beter write it down...

1. Always thinking that self is the most righteous or correct one, feel good enough.. Actually have to be selfless, respect and value others surround me.

2. I can be whoever I want to be in the world (we are borned as an actor), but life with family often shows the true you

3. Do not leave your partner alone in fire =)

4. Sometimes you should not follow your feeling, but follow what is right/ the instruction

5. Think people are stubborn because they do not follow the rule or follow what we think is right. I get frustrated by that, but stop correcting others and look at myself. I am also stubborn human, but God gives us his love unconditionally.

6. Those whose life look ok, doesnt mean that they are without problem or struggle. They do and that is what make them wiser and able to teach.

7. You can only give what you have.

8. During tought time, when your work seems pointless...be patient and faithful.. God is at work!!

9. When your environment seems wrong, be the one who make change and do not expect others to follow you (this is God's part). Just do your part faitfully =)

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Life is fragile

Heard of bad news from Indonesia, Philippine and some other South East Asia Country..
And the earthquake in Indonesia is still going.. Jambi and Bengkulu just got another one. It is going down!!! Very scary!!!

Lord Father, please guard my family, my extended family and my friends and my nation..

My deep condolescence for those who lose their family..

Also hoping and praying that grandma will get better really soon. I love you and I dont want you to stay there any longer. I know that you dont like it too.

Life is fragile!! It is short and many people do not treasure their lives.. Some others keep on complaining about their lives while others wasting their lives!!

Lord, please guard my mind and let me live my life to its best extend and fulfil your purpose in creating me. So, when it comes, there wont be any regret...

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Bossy or Care??

Hmm.. Almost everything in the world can be seen from two or more different sides.. And the current topic that has been around my head is this one: Bossy or care? Let's try to make it a fun writing..

I'll try to see from 4 different perspective..

From the person that tells other to do things: "I care about you and this is what I believe s right. therefore you should do this because it will do good to you".

From the person who get the message:
1st: "Yes, you are right. Thanks for telling me and care for me"
2nd: "I am different from you. I will do my way and you do your own way"
3rd: "Mind your own business"
4th: "tadadadadada" (don't want to hear/pretend not hearing anything)

From the third person:
1st: "hwa.. he/she is concerning about her friend"
2nd: "so bossy"

From the friend of the third person
"Definitely bossy!!"

What I am trying to imply here is that the first person is not always right telling people to do stuff coz people are different and they have differnt style in living their lives. But, it is not wrong either to remind them to do what is right. Need balance I guess, and wisdom. Also God knows our heart!! If we remind or tell others to do something good because we want what is good for them (good concern) the, I guess it is not that bad..

Remember that sometimes appearance or what is seen can fool you, but God knows the heart. Still, you need to respect others' choices..
And try always to think positively!!

Thursday, 24 September 2009

The time has come...

It has passed my bed time, but I can't sleep
Once I close my eyes, I will be no where
And when I open them again, in no time I will be there

I have set my mind and prepare my heart
I know that this time is coming
But why.., why just imagining it makes these tears fall down
why...why...

By tomorrow, officially i am no longer bounded
I am free!!! yay!!! yay?? yay??
why does my heart cannot compromise with my mind??

Father, please give me strength
to stand for one more day
so I could give you my best

Sunday, 20 September 2009

"This is part of God's plan"

I met a friend yesterday who simply asked me how can I be 2nd year in my age now and I explained to her what was going on before, from my medical check up to foundation problem and she symphatise me and asked me why I still choose to study in the place I currently study after it gives me so much trouble.

First thing that jumped into my mind was agreeing with her and complaining, but that thought was gone before I managed to say it. Instead, I said:
"It's ok. This is part of God's plan and He knows that this is the best for me"
Afterward, that sentences kept ringing on my head and I amazed that I said it. hehe..

Is this part of wisdom that I learnt on Friday? haha.. Anyway, I believe that it is from God. The feeling of not complaining is much better =)

Thursday, 17 September 2009

I am blessed!!

Finally, with my all, I can say that word after long time. Yes, I am blessed!!

In life, it is easy to complain, easy to critise, easy to be disatisfied and easy to blame or judge. But it is hard to be content, to thank God for the circumstances and hard to realise that your life is a blessing!! And you are blessed!!
You think that if things are going good, that's awesome but you do not embrace it. If it is bad, you... (answer yourself)

Last few weeks, I was straining myself for my 2 tests which I would say it was not easy for me. But it turned out to be good. It's not because of what I have done.. I realise that if I am doing it alone, I fail!!

On my bed, I realised that God has blessed me so much!! meaning abundantly!! During my study for test I struggled so much to keep my body and mind as one. But, when I am in my low point, I knew I could run to God. He also gives me mum and dad who encourage me and trust me. I have a leader that helps me doing my work and I have a mentor that pray for me and willing to listen to me without blaming me. And I have a flatmate that can keep me laughing. Thanks.. Thank to you all for your love, your care and your prayer. Thank you...

I have learnt much more than I needed for my two previous tests..

Monday, 14 September 2009

Sunday at Barista

Last week had been tough for me in term of my study. Strangely, I always feel sleepy when I am studying and many thoughts came to mind which really hinder me from studying. And the result.. I was depressed.

Yesterday morning, the weather was pretty good. Not like most of the people like clear weather with bright shiny sun, I like weather with sun hides behind the clouds and the wind softly blows, just like yesterday morning.. It was good one for me =) I had mochacino in Barista and it was pretty good. But I still prefer cappucino with cinnamon in city lib. I just love cinnamon.

Anyway, I was reading Isaiah 50 which my friend actually intended to give me to let me know that God is the one who gives each of us instructed tongue, but I read the whole chapter. Amazingly, I found this verse, which is the verse that firstly helped me to be the person I am. When I started become Christian, I was lack of self esteem because I thought I could not do anything. I was the least person in the world. But this verse stroke me and in my walked everyday, it become something that strengthen, challenged and gave me hope. And the verse is:
"Was my arm too short to ransom you?
Do I lack the strength to rescue you?" and this is said by the LORD..

Overall, yesterday was awesome. I visited friends' church and found the worship was really good and so did the preaching. Then God helped me with my study yesterday. I did not feel sleepy. Still have lots to memorise before the test come..

Isaiah 50:7
Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Encouragement from a sister

Wah.. It has been a while..

Hmmm.. Just think that I would want to write something. So many things happen beside my study and I have learn heaps these days, especially yesterday.

I finally really talking to my sister yesterday, I think this is the first serious talk I had with her since I came back to NZ. Man, she is real awesome!! I was complaining and pour out my feeling to her... but her reply was amazing!!

She reminded me the lesson that we have ever had and moreover, she shows them through her life now. These are just some points that I got while I was talking to her:
  • Positive thinking in any circumstances and to people surrounds me
  • Try to see people from their positive sides
  • Being humble
  • Obey the Lord's commandments and be patient because it is not easy sometimes and the world often does not compromise with you
  • In living my life, work together with God
  • Live my life lively.. Be happy always!!! always!!!
  • Keep working toward my goal, this would be a motivator in doing whatever I am doing right now. Like my sister really wants to have a France cafe at whatever stage of her life
She is awesome!! And I could see that this is real for her since she lives those points!! Moreover, she is learning to be discipline, something that I can't really imagine she is living with. Oh, I love her so much!! And de, I dedicate this post for you. Cici sayang dede!!!

It is true that example set by action is much more powerful than by words..
I praise you Lord for my sister...

Friday, 4 September 2009

Today, we are...

We are the way we are because of....

Sometimes we say that genetic is what makes us the way we are. Come to think about it, it is so not completely true. Genetic does play role in shaping us, but... the main factor would be environment (nurture part). you know evolution ay? Genetic follows what environment requires..

Environment talking about culture where we are brought up. And childhood is when we absorb most of the culture and apply it to our life, making it our habit and set them as our values. Here, family play such important roles in setting up your values. So, you might have the same culture but different values just because you are in different family.

Experience to study abroad and live in a city with high diversity makes me realise that this is what differentiate us as human. I meet them when their culture and values has been well set up in their lives, and so with mine. How should we responds to these differences are what matter. I definitely think that we need to respect other cultures and values, but I also think that we need to make some changes to be able to live in harmony - meaning true harmony, not only in the surface.

I think being Christian, I have learn a lot the real values of live. To admit, it is hard to change my culture, habit and values that has been planted by my wordly live to the culture, habit and values of the Kingdon of God. But this is the one that can bring harmony in living with each others.

So, why not give it a try to a good stuff =)

PS.
Who you are now determined by your past and you cannot go back and change your past.
Who you are in the future determined by your life in the present and you can do something today to make a better life.

Isaiah 43: 18-19
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Expression

Never think much about this topic until recently...

People are judged from their appearance (clothes and accesories that they wear), the words they speak and probably their family background. Based on those things, their heart, their mind and their characters will be judged. Sadly, many people buy this and they tried to be someone who are not themselves just to get good judgement from others. I would be a hypocrite by saying that I am not part of these people. Yea, I am part of them -up to certain level..

Those are not what I am going to write about. I want to write about expression. This morning as I walked to the bus stop, the pictures of my friends telling me: "when you say that, I keep wondering in my mind whether you are joking or serious; because you are without expression", "I thought you were upset", "Weren't you fighting?" or etc... Seriously, I am not a person who get easily hurt (or maybe ;p), argue, fight or upset. I am not trying to defend myself and not saying that those feelings are absent in my life, I just feel that life is too good to always fill it with bad stuff... Anyway, I would not blame them for saying that, I know that I am just good in making 'expression'. hehe...

It just makes me realise that expression could really show who you are (your heart and your mind) more than your words or your outer appearance. Or it could lead others to misunderstand you. Not saying it is bad, sometimes it could be good too... You know that many people are getting heaps of money and could entertain others for making good expression. ok, I am talking about those movie stars =)

Be wise in using God's given expression ^^

Monday, 24 August 2009

Action and Heart - Criticism

What is really matter when you face a case? Is it your action toward it or your real heart?

As human, moral and ethics are planted in our lives and those determine how we act toward something. Most of the time, our action merely driven by the values that we thing are right and acceptable, but our hearts speak differently. We do right in front of others to get acceptance, but behind them or in our heart, we criticise... we complain.

We have tendency to complain. We complain because we want to justify ourselves or we compare or measure it with our own value and think that our set of values are the right ones. We want others to do what is right based on our value.

Wow, I think I generalise it by saying we and we.. Sorry if anyone feel offended, I'll change it into I. Yea, I am one of the person who criticise a lot. I critise church, friends, family and even myself. When you criticise something, you actually complaining (I am talking about negative criticism here) . Complaining is an act of disagreement and it will hinder you from giving thanks for whatever you have got in your life.

Being reminded of this, I want to make a decision to learn to change my way of thinking.. I would not think that it would be easy, but better learn slowly rather than not doing anything about it. Because negative critics could surely drag you down and might bury you into depression or dissatisfaction which result to unpleasant life. Want to have great life? Make a change in your MIND now!! I would..

Having a right mind set, respect others values and characters and accept that we are not always right would change our lives. Our action will in line with our heart and that certainly will give you peace!!

Thursday, 20 August 2009

What have I been doing with my study??

I've been messing around!!! Hhhmmmm.... Yea, my mind is not very clear at the moment.. I will write my thoughts here as this is the purpose of this blog.

The main reason is because I did not do as well as I expected in my semester test yesterday, Indeed, it was pretty bad. I felt a bit disapointed. I have done my best.. Or it might just caused by my jealousy to my classmate. Being very honest, I am a competitive person and do not like losing.

What is really matter in study? How should I actually study effectively? I seriously see something different in the way she study and in the way she look into her study.. Well, do not want to talk further about her. I'll just say what's in my heart related to my failure in my study (esp seen in my test yesterday).

Firstly, I would say that I did not study effectively. I memorise lots of unimportant things which make me mixing up more stuff and I wasn't able to recall some of the stuff or recall the right stuff for the right questions. I use to study in details and I feel here that I actually do not need details, I need concept. I think it would be very hard to leave my comfort zone and trying a new one. Honestly, I am afraid missing details (feel like I study incompletely).. What should I do then??

Secondly, I did not keep my body fit. I did not sleep well, I did not eat well, and I messed up my schedule.. Thoughts that are going around my head.. I could feel yesterday that there was something wrong with my body and my ability to memorise things, but I did not bother them until the test.. I knew that my unhealthy body and soul had big influence..

And the most influenced factor was that I tried to study and do anything with my own stregth and might. I feel burdened and responsible to get good mark. Partly because of pressure not to be beaten. I could not enjoy my study!! I think in my previous post, I wrote something about abide in God and I would find rest.. It was less than a week ago.. And, what I did just now is certainly not abide!! What a person!!

Hahahahaha...

Surely I need to study and meditate in the word "abide" again.. Beside that, I also need to realise again that God has created each human for a purpose which is unique and different with others and to fulfil his purpose, he equipt each of us differently.. Remember alese, you are created to fulfil your own purpose, including study purpose!! Just make sure that you have done your best through th e spirit that works in you!!

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Isaiah 43:4 - Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you

"Your are mine!! I want you!!" says the Lord...
Awesome!! That was what came to my mine when she said it. I am so precious so that the Lord Jesus decided to leave all his possesion in heaven.. Despite all my weaknesses and my normality, I am honoured by the one who created me and knows all my thoughts and deeds.. And that happen just for one reason... HE LOVES ME!!

Well, just talking about love itself, I think being loved is something that is desired by everyone. And when you are in love or being loved.. think yourself how does it feels. For me, I feel like "flying" above my own world. I feel like being pampered and I could be spoil to the person who love me.. I seriously cannot describe much about being in love.. i wonder if one day I fall in love with man, how would it feels like.. hehe.. This is amazing!! Love is what makes me the way I am now, and love that moves me to do things the way I do. If you know me, you know how this love work in my life... I love "LOVE"!!

Another good news is from the person that I listened to is that this God of love, gives me rest.. When I abide in his love, his love will overflow in my life, make me feel restful, peace and fruitful.. And his love provides me with every spiritual blessings!! The key is SURRENDERING. Is that an unpleasant word? Well, yea if you surrender to your enemy, it will take control of you.. But imagine this.. A guy loves you so much and chasing you wherever you go because he loves you.. And you try to avoid.. Isn't it tiring and kinda frustrating? (maybe it's just me ;p). But when you surrender to love.. his love... you'll be pampered!! Isn't it true guys??

Wow. I could just keep on writing when I write about love.. See, just think and write about love, make me so excited already... Imagine my real live with his love itself.. You must be jealous.. hahahahaha..

I am hoping that this post could be an encouragement for everyone who read and for reminder for myself if I forget that I have this love one day..

Saturday, 18 July 2009

I am Your Angel

No mountain to high for you to climb
All you have to do, is have some kind in faith
No river is too wide to make it across
All you have to do, is believe when you pray
And then you will see the morning will come,
in everyday will be bright as the sun
Hold on to your fears, cast them on me

I just want you to see
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
I am your Angel,And all hope gone I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no different who you are
I am your Angel, I am your Angel

I saw your tear drops and
I heard you cry
All you need is time,
seek me and you shall find
You have everything and your still lonely
It don't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day
Then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your day will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears just cast them on me
How can I make you see

And when it's time to faced the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
I know we'll survive
And when it seems as if your end this growing year
Don't you dear give up the fight
Just put trust on the sky

Thank be to the Lord for the Holy Spirit that he send to each of us to lead our lives!!
This is what my angel is telling me when I was depressed thinking about the future that will come.

I am so in love with Jesus. If you how much I love him, I would say that I simply love him so much, but my love for God is surely nothing compare to his love for me. I am amazed by your love Jesus..

That is so true that God is speaking the language of love, hope, freedom and grace. He does want to communicate and be united with us!! How amazing is that!! Speak his language, people!!

Sunday, 17 May 2009

First Turning Point

I went to a good Christian private junior high school. I could not afford to be there if I did not get scholarship. In my first year, I made a sincere friendship with some girls and our friendship last until now (whenever you read this), indeed, we are not in the same country anymore. We keep in contact, support, encourage and pray for each others. I felt acceptance from outside of my family for the first time. Regardless to my physical appearance and inability to socialise well, they took me as they friend just as I was. Maybe it's normal in modern country, but here, you would consider appearance and money in making friends. Singapore took them away from me after being together for 3 years in Junior High School. Well, they got scholarship from there.

In my third year of JHS, I had friend who was in the same class as I was. She was a good Christian and one day she came to me and told me that eventhough I looked ok on the outside, i was broken inside. She was right! I was still the old me. I still could not accept the way God made me; poor, fat face with pimples, ugly, unable to socialise, etc. I always thought that I was the least person in this world. so naive.. She told me also that God knew me inside out and He cared for me. It was magic words for my brain. That was the point when I start changing. I wasn't changed outwardly, but inside. I did not see myself the way I used to see it. I saw myself as God's precious one. I was accepted and more than that, I am loved by the Holy one, God.