What have I been doing with my study??

I've been messing around!!! Hhhmmmm.... Yea, my mind is not very clear at the moment.. I will write my thoughts here as this is the purpose of this blog.

The main reason is because I did not do as well as I expected in my semester test yesterday, Indeed, it was pretty bad. I felt a bit disapointed. I have done my best.. Or it might just caused by my jealousy to my classmate. Being very honest, I am a competitive person and do not like losing.

What is really matter in study? How should I actually study effectively? I seriously see something different in the way she study and in the way she look into her study.. Well, do not want to talk further about her. I'll just say what's in my heart related to my failure in my study (esp seen in my test yesterday).

Firstly, I would say that I did not study effectively. I memorise lots of unimportant things which make me mixing up more stuff and I wasn't able to recall some of the stuff or recall the right stuff for the right questions. I use to study in details and I feel here that I actually do not need details, I need concept. I think it would be very hard to leave my comfort zone and trying a new one. Honestly, I am afraid missing details (feel like I study incompletely).. What should I do then??

Secondly, I did not keep my body fit. I did not sleep well, I did not eat well, and I messed up my schedule.. Thoughts that are going around my head.. I could feel yesterday that there was something wrong with my body and my ability to memorise things, but I did not bother them until the test.. I knew that my unhealthy body and soul had big influence..

And the most influenced factor was that I tried to study and do anything with my own stregth and might. I feel burdened and responsible to get good mark. Partly because of pressure not to be beaten. I could not enjoy my study!! I think in my previous post, I wrote something about abide in God and I would find rest.. It was less than a week ago.. And, what I did just now is certainly not abide!! What a person!!

Hahahahaha...

Surely I need to study and meditate in the word "abide" again.. Beside that, I also need to realise again that God has created each human for a purpose which is unique and different with others and to fulfil his purpose, he equipt each of us differently.. Remember alese, you are created to fulfil your own purpose, including study purpose!! Just make sure that you have done your best through th e spirit that works in you!!