Action and Heart - Criticism

What is really matter when you face a case? Is it your action toward it or your real heart?

As human, moral and ethics are planted in our lives and those determine how we act toward something. Most of the time, our action merely driven by the values that we thing are right and acceptable, but our hearts speak differently. We do right in front of others to get acceptance, but behind them or in our heart, we criticise... we complain.

We have tendency to complain. We complain because we want to justify ourselves or we compare or measure it with our own value and think that our set of values are the right ones. We want others to do what is right based on our value.

Wow, I think I generalise it by saying we and we.. Sorry if anyone feel offended, I'll change it into I. Yea, I am one of the person who criticise a lot. I critise church, friends, family and even myself. When you criticise something, you actually complaining (I am talking about negative criticism here) . Complaining is an act of disagreement and it will hinder you from giving thanks for whatever you have got in your life.

Being reminded of this, I want to make a decision to learn to change my way of thinking.. I would not think that it would be easy, but better learn slowly rather than not doing anything about it. Because negative critics could surely drag you down and might bury you into depression or dissatisfaction which result to unpleasant life. Want to have great life? Make a change in your MIND now!! I would..

Having a right mind set, respect others values and characters and accept that we are not always right would change our lives. Our action will in line with our heart and that certainly will give you peace!!

What have I been doing with my study??

I've been messing around!!! Hhhmmmm.... Yea, my mind is not very clear at the moment.. I will write my thoughts here as this is the purpose of this blog.

The main reason is because I did not do as well as I expected in my semester test yesterday, Indeed, it was pretty bad. I felt a bit disapointed. I have done my best.. Or it might just caused by my jealousy to my classmate. Being very honest, I am a competitive person and do not like losing.

What is really matter in study? How should I actually study effectively? I seriously see something different in the way she study and in the way she look into her study.. Well, do not want to talk further about her. I'll just say what's in my heart related to my failure in my study (esp seen in my test yesterday).

Firstly, I would say that I did not study effectively. I memorise lots of unimportant things which make me mixing up more stuff and I wasn't able to recall some of the stuff or recall the right stuff for the right questions. I use to study in details and I feel here that I actually do not need details, I need concept. I think it would be very hard to leave my comfort zone and trying a new one. Honestly, I am afraid missing details (feel like I study incompletely).. What should I do then??

Secondly, I did not keep my body fit. I did not sleep well, I did not eat well, and I messed up my schedule.. Thoughts that are going around my head.. I could feel yesterday that there was something wrong with my body and my ability to memorise things, but I did not bother them until the test.. I knew that my unhealthy body and soul had big influence..

And the most influenced factor was that I tried to study and do anything with my own stregth and might. I feel burdened and responsible to get good mark. Partly because of pressure not to be beaten. I could not enjoy my study!! I think in my previous post, I wrote something about abide in God and I would find rest.. It was less than a week ago.. And, what I did just now is certainly not abide!! What a person!!

Hahahahaha...

Surely I need to study and meditate in the word "abide" again.. Beside that, I also need to realise again that God has created each human for a purpose which is unique and different with others and to fulfil his purpose, he equipt each of us differently.. Remember alese, you are created to fulfil your own purpose, including study purpose!! Just make sure that you have done your best through th e spirit that works in you!!

Isaiah 43:4 - Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you

"Your are mine!! I want you!!" says the Lord...
Awesome!! That was what came to my mine when she said it. I am so precious so that the Lord Jesus decided to leave all his possesion in heaven.. Despite all my weaknesses and my normality, I am honoured by the one who created me and knows all my thoughts and deeds.. And that happen just for one reason... HE LOVES ME!!

Well, just talking about love itself, I think being loved is something that is desired by everyone. And when you are in love or being loved.. think yourself how does it feels. For me, I feel like "flying" above my own world. I feel like being pampered and I could be spoil to the person who love me.. I seriously cannot describe much about being in love.. i wonder if one day I fall in love with man, how would it feels like.. hehe.. This is amazing!! Love is what makes me the way I am now, and love that moves me to do things the way I do. If you know me, you know how this love work in my life... I love "LOVE"!!

Another good news is from the person that I listened to is that this God of love, gives me rest.. When I abide in his love, his love will overflow in my life, make me feel restful, peace and fruitful.. And his love provides me with every spiritual blessings!! The key is SURRENDERING. Is that an unpleasant word? Well, yea if you surrender to your enemy, it will take control of you.. But imagine this.. A guy loves you so much and chasing you wherever you go because he loves you.. And you try to avoid.. Isn't it tiring and kinda frustrating? (maybe it's just me ;p). But when you surrender to love.. his love... you'll be pampered!! Isn't it true guys??

Wow. I could just keep on writing when I write about love.. See, just think and write about love, make me so excited already... Imagine my real live with his love itself.. You must be jealous.. hahahahaha..

I am hoping that this post could be an encouragement for everyone who read and for reminder for myself if I forget that I have this love one day..

I am Your Angel

No mountain to high for you to climb
All you have to do, is have some kind in faith
No river is too wide to make it across
All you have to do, is believe when you pray
And then you will see the morning will come,
in everyday will be bright as the sun
Hold on to your fears, cast them on me

I just want you to see
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
I am your Angel,And all hope gone I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no different who you are
I am your Angel, I am your Angel

I saw your tear drops and
I heard you cry
All you need is time,
seek me and you shall find
You have everything and your still lonely
It don't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day
Then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your day will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears just cast them on me
How can I make you see

And when it's time to faced the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
I know we'll survive
And when it seems as if your end this growing year
Don't you dear give up the fight
Just put trust on the sky

Thank be to the Lord for the Holy Spirit that he send to each of us to lead our lives!!
This is what my angel is telling me when I was depressed thinking about the future that will come.

I am so in love with Jesus. If you how much I love him, I would say that I simply love him so much, but my love for God is surely nothing compare to his love for me. I am amazed by your love Jesus..

That is so true that God is speaking the language of love, hope, freedom and grace. He does want to communicate and be united with us!! How amazing is that!! Speak his language, people!!

First Turning Point

I went to a good Christian private junior high school. I could not afford to be there if I did not get scholarship. In my first year, I made a sincere friendship with some girls and our friendship last until now (whenever you read this), indeed, we are not in the same country anymore. We keep in contact, support, encourage and pray for each others. I felt acceptance from outside of my family for the first time. Regardless to my physical appearance and inability to socialise well, they took me as they friend just as I was. Maybe it's normal in modern country, but here, you would consider appearance and money in making friends. Singapore took them away from me after being together for 3 years in Junior High School. Well, they got scholarship from there.

In my third year of JHS, I had friend who was in the same class as I was. She was a good Christian and one day she came to me and told me that eventhough I looked ok on the outside, i was broken inside. She was right! I was still the old me. I still could not accept the way God made me; poor, fat face with pimples, ugly, unable to socialise, etc. I always thought that I was the least person in this world. so naive.. She told me also that God knew me inside out and He cared for me. It was magic words for my brain. That was the point when I start changing. I wasn't changed outwardly, but inside. I did not see myself the way I used to see it. I saw myself as God's precious one. I was accepted and more than that, I am loved by the Holy one, God.